Let me just tell you something... the questions that were asked of us in the States were the exact opposite of the inquiries while abroad...
"Oh you're only doing Asia this trip? WAIT, why not Laos, Thailand and ummm ya know, the rest of the continent?? ONLY TWO WEEKS? We are taking a year off of work... then going back to the same job."
I AM proud to be an American, but um, WTF.
Let me back track though. Why were we going to Asia? Because my wicked awesome travel buddy of the year got two FREE round trip tickets to anywhere in the world through her job. And for some unknown reason asked me to use them with her 😭😭😭
Our criteria for then choosing Asia:
- Very far from New York (aka expensive flight) ✓
- High chance of at least one first class flight (for free) ✓
- Warm ✓
- Cheap ✓
Ummmm. I think that's it.
As you know, I am such a planner, but let me tell you something... that is impossible for Vietnam and Cambodia. The amount of bullsh*t websites that have been created to completely swindle all western tourists of their money is absurd. Sarah and I literally and actually almost pulled our hair out trying to book things ahead of time because we could not tell what was real. Each and every website would say at the top "Watch out for all the other fake websites; only use us!" Ooooooh HELPFUL.
Suffice to say, all we did was book our flights, and left the rest up to fate.
And as fate would have it, flight number one was, yes you guessed it, FIRST CLASS BABY. Sarah and I actually jumped up and down, hugging each other when the gate agent told us.
After six hours of endless drinks, delightful steak, GLASS salt and pepper shakers and the ability to lie down completely flat, we switched over to our 15 hour economy flight. It wasn't great, but we got free pajamas since Sarah gave the flight attendants chocolate... yay.
Upon arrival in Hong Kong at 7am, in classic Sarah and Mary fashion, we seized the day. First item on the agenda: hiking to the peak (cause who has time to wait in a two hour line to take a funicular to the top? Not. Us.). I had done this when I was in Hong Kong two years earlier, but let me tell you: we did not dress accordingly. Unfortunately for Sarah, I don't have any photos of me dripping with sweat as we made our way up, sooo here she is!
Gelato at the top, then back down for some markets, dim sum and temples - all equally fascinating, enticing and just wicked cool.
Lots of exploring and walking that night - more temples - we're a bit obsessed with Hong Kong. Minus the most disgusting, nauseating loo that Sarah had to use in a dark alley, nothing went wrong so I won't bore you with our euphoria (with a mix of intense jet lag obvi).
**Side note: I had written about the next two days and then it mysteriously disappeared. So. Um. I am currently angry, but I am going to try my best to portray the happiness from the trip.**
Next day started with McDonalds' iced coffee (pretty much the only coffee I can find in Asia that I like; please don't kill me). Explored gorgeous parks, stumbled upon more parks and even more markets, and we truly could not keep the smiles off our faces.
Until... the frogs. We saw them in a net on the side of the street, and I just looked at Sarah and said "how much you wanna bet they're on the menu for the night?" The following video is your answer.
It was like one of those horror movies where once you notice one little thing; you notice that the entire street is full of animals next to a menu with their name on it. LOL... but also kind of not, but also, yes super ironic OKAY.
We didn't know it, but it ended up being the most relaxing day of our trip; no agenda, no stress - except me stressing about the fact that nothing had gone wrong yet. I always just wanna get it over with, ya know?
Back to the airport! Met a new friend...
New look for the airport? I think so!!!
Vietnam. Despite watching other people have to pay exorbitant fees trying to obtain visas for Vietnam, Sarah and I had SOMEHOW done everything right and had zero issues - I know, unexpected for sure.
Vietnam was a tad confusing at first, from trying to understand what type of money would actually convert at a 23,000 to 1 rate to watching in horror as mopeds zoomed to and fro in each others' path without so much as a glance. But as soon as we walked into Vietnam Backpacker Hostel in Hanoi (def just name dropped there, but you'll see why soon), we absolutely and absurdly felt 100% at home. Smiling faces. Free beer. Backpacks. Bar. Food. You name it.
But first things first: food. What we experienced next was possibly one of our best Vietnamese meals. Couldn't tell you the name of the place, but our hostel pointed us in the right direction, that's all I know. Did I end up making an absurd habit of butchering my request for "Pho" wherever we went? Well, duh. But was having every waiter in all of Vietnam guffaw at me worth the amazing food that I received in return? HELL. YES.
Back to the hostel to book our Halong Bay cruise. Except, we were definitely not prepared for what awaited us. They tried to brainwash us. I am not kidding. They showed us all of these photos of boring couples on cruises in the bay and were like, you couldn't possibly want that, and well yes, we did not. And then they showed us all of these amazing pictures and videos of NON-couples just having a blast with each other on this private cruise, and private island and, um, we succumbed to the brainwashing.
Was it the best decision we made all trip? Absolutely. Did it take me a while to get over the fact that they had swindled us into handing over $xxx in cash (yep, they only deal in cash) on the spot to ensure our spot? Actually no. Because after a bus, then a boat, then another bus, then, yep, ANOTHER boat, we were at CASTAWAYS. As the island came into view, Sarah and I gave each other a little cheers, knowing full well that the brainwashing had taken full effect, but not actually giving a shi*t.
Enter the Canadians. Nathalie and Zac. Within five minutes we were fast friends, making sure that we ate together, bunked together, dove into the bay together... Within ten minutes we were on the same tube together (yes, all four of us - yes, we all fell off). Within an hour, people were asking us how long we had been traveling together for. Within two hours we agreed to, indeed, travel together (FORESHADOWING).
So, yes, this island consisted of everything you thought it would: rock climbing, volleyball, sun bathing, tubing... and that's what we did. Until. The booze cruise crew arrived. So I probably should have mentioned how this island works. They ship about 25 of us out to this island, and as we frolik in the sun, the folks that had arrived the day before, are out on their cruise of the bay. And let me tell you, they come in HOT. They immediately became our mentors. They tell you about the island, they tell you who to watch out for, they tell you what to expect the next day, and yes, we were all immediately very, very good friends.
Where was Sarah in all of this? Well, let me tell ya. I don't know. We both kept making friends, and about every hour, we would run into each other, say about two words about how happy we were and then run in the opposite direction again.
I have discovered the new universal bond that is truly capable of bringing the world together as one: drinking games. Granted, we all spoke English, so this is a terrible example, BUT not only did we all know the basic games, beer pong, flip cup etc., but we got to learn the Australian, Vietnamese, Icelandic, Canadian, Irish versions of all of these games. Talk about really diving into the culture, eh?
Day two on the island - time for our cruise! At precisely 10am, we embarked for one of the best days of our lives to date. If you had thrust me out into the bay on a raft, all alone, it still would have been one of the best days... but combined with OUR CREW? This cruise is almost indescribable...
I said ALMOST. I gotta describe some of it. It all started with a miscommunication. Our go-to beer on the island was literally called 333. When Zac ordered his first beer on the boat, he put up three fingers so that the bartender would know he wanted the 333; the bartender took this a step further and gave him three 333s. Not wanting to confuse things further, Zac paid for all three and made his way to the top deck. Unbeknownst to him (well we knew, but we didn't actually know, ya know?), there was a new rule: any beer that you held in your right hand, you had to drink from the beer bong. Zac had two in his right hand, and well... he's a rule follower!
People got points for beer bongs and the like, since I was the only American, I figured I'd ask if I could get some booster points, since I had no one to help me out. The guide's response?
We had some dance parties, some weird games (obviously), kayaking, random swims out to beaches that caught our eye, really good food and really good times. We NEVER wanted this day to end, but... the island awaited.
When we showed up to Castaways, we were now the mentors. We took the whole island of newbies under our wing and had yet another glorious night of mediocre food but fantastic dancing.
We were heartbroken as we left the island the next morning. It had truly become our home. Ok, not really, but when all you have is a couple hundred meters of sand, and people tell you it's your home, you start to believe it!
The vast majority of our crew was all staying together at Vietnam Backpacker Hostel in Hanoi (from here on out to be referred to as "VBH"). We could have never planned what was in store for us that night. The Asian football cup (or something like that - I truly never understood what tournament we were watching) was in full swing and Vietnam was playing. People told us that if Vietnam won the game, that the city would explode (not literally, but, ya know, giant celebrations in the streets and the like). Well, Vietnam won and I have never high fived, danced with, screamed at sooooo many people in one night in my life. Here's just a glimpse...
I also believe that this is the first GOOD photo of Zac, Nathalie, Sarah and me...
Late night Banh mi was also a must...
On this same evening, we somehow found time to plan our trip to Ninh Binh with, you guessed it, Zac and Nathalie. Never has it been easier to plan a trip. Sarah booked how we were getting there, while I booked where we were staying, while Zac booked the way back and Nathalie planned what we'd do while we were there (ok, guys, I know those are not the exact things we were all doing, but people at least get the picture).
The next morning, we were off to Ninh Binh! Just check out our 7am train music (also, a glimpse at how aggressive Sarah is at making friends 🤣)
Ninh Binh was just what we needed after the madness of the past few days. We booked a private room at a bamboo bungalow with this view...
The only issue, that we were to find out later, was that since the rooms were literally built out of bamboo, all noises were heard - from the rain to the VERY loud crew of Vietnamese tourists that were right next door (although I literally woke up thinking that they were in our room because they were that loud).
But first thing on our agenda was motor bikes! Cause when in Vietnam...
And don't worry, I did not drive, which is why I came back from this trip in one piece.
We then embarked on the journey that we had to come to Ninh Binh for: the boats. We hired a lady who spoke no English to give us a river boat tour and it was truly phenomenal. We thought we were just going to be chilling on the boat for three hours, but instead, we stopped off and explored islands and temples (and beer) along the way and I have neverrr felt more relaxed.
Thanks to this tour, we literally know everything about Zac and Nathalie, from how they first started dating... to their cats names and ages 🙄
After getting lost at pretty much every crossroads on our way back, we survived the bumpiest roads imaginable, grabbed some food, read by the water and had an early night. Truly a vacation from vacation... until Sarah and I did not sleep a wink because the Vietnamese tourists were up yelling alllll night. Ya win some, you lose some, eh?
The plan was to explore A LOT more the next day, but Sarah was on her deathbed and everyone was tired sooo we just stayed in bed and continued to vacation from vacation. We then booked a private "limo" back to Hanoi and it was five thousand times better than having to listen to atrocious train music.
Upon arrival in Hanoi, I quickly ran to the pharmacy and grabbed every drug known to man because not only was Sarah on her deathbed, but I was noooot doing to hot myself, and we had another week and a half of fun and no sleep that we had to power through, so thankfully I only paid like five dollars for all this👇
After grabbing Nathalie's laundry (oh ya, I forgot to mention that someone sh*t in her bed when we were on Castaways and she climbed into bed not knowing it... the full version of this story is only available in person for obvious reasons), we all headed to the Hanoi Airport! Destination: Hoi An.
Next day started with McDonalds' iced coffee (pretty much the only coffee I can find in Asia that I like; please don't kill me). Explored gorgeous parks, stumbled upon more parks and even more markets, and we truly could not keep the smiles off our faces.
Until... the frogs. We saw them in a net on the side of the street, and I just looked at Sarah and said "how much you wanna bet they're on the menu for the night?" The following video is your answer.
It was like one of those horror movies where once you notice one little thing; you notice that the entire street is full of animals next to a menu with their name on it. LOL... but also kind of not, but also, yes super ironic OKAY.
We didn't know it, but it ended up being the most relaxing day of our trip; no agenda, no stress - except me stressing about the fact that nothing had gone wrong yet. I always just wanna get it over with, ya know?
Back to the airport! Met a new friend...
New look for the airport? I think so!!!
Vietnam. Despite watching other people have to pay exorbitant fees trying to obtain visas for Vietnam, Sarah and I had SOMEHOW done everything right and had zero issues - I know, unexpected for sure.
Vietnam was a tad confusing at first, from trying to understand what type of money would actually convert at a 23,000 to 1 rate to watching in horror as mopeds zoomed to and fro in each others' path without so much as a glance. But as soon as we walked into Vietnam Backpacker Hostel in Hanoi (def just name dropped there, but you'll see why soon), we absolutely and absurdly felt 100% at home. Smiling faces. Free beer. Backpacks. Bar. Food. You name it.
But first things first: food. What we experienced next was possibly one of our best Vietnamese meals. Couldn't tell you the name of the place, but our hostel pointed us in the right direction, that's all I know. Did I end up making an absurd habit of butchering my request for "Pho" wherever we went? Well, duh. But was having every waiter in all of Vietnam guffaw at me worth the amazing food that I received in return? HELL. YES.
Back to the hostel to book our Halong Bay cruise. Except, we were definitely not prepared for what awaited us. They tried to brainwash us. I am not kidding. They showed us all of these photos of boring couples on cruises in the bay and were like, you couldn't possibly want that, and well yes, we did not. And then they showed us all of these amazing pictures and videos of NON-couples just having a blast with each other on this private cruise, and private island and, um, we succumbed to the brainwashing.
Was it the best decision we made all trip? Absolutely. Did it take me a while to get over the fact that they had swindled us into handing over $xxx in cash (yep, they only deal in cash) on the spot to ensure our spot? Actually no. Because after a bus, then a boat, then another bus, then, yep, ANOTHER boat, we were at CASTAWAYS. As the island came into view, Sarah and I gave each other a little cheers, knowing full well that the brainwashing had taken full effect, but not actually giving a shi*t.
Enter the Canadians. Nathalie and Zac. Within five minutes we were fast friends, making sure that we ate together, bunked together, dove into the bay together... Within ten minutes we were on the same tube together (yes, all four of us - yes, we all fell off). Within an hour, people were asking us how long we had been traveling together for. Within two hours we agreed to, indeed, travel together (FORESHADOWING).
So, yes, this island consisted of everything you thought it would: rock climbing, volleyball, sun bathing, tubing... and that's what we did. Until. The booze cruise crew arrived. So I probably should have mentioned how this island works. They ship about 25 of us out to this island, and as we frolik in the sun, the folks that had arrived the day before, are out on their cruise of the bay. And let me tell you, they come in HOT. They immediately became our mentors. They tell you about the island, they tell you who to watch out for, they tell you what to expect the next day, and yes, we were all immediately very, very good friends.
Where was Sarah in all of this? Well, let me tell ya. I don't know. We both kept making friends, and about every hour, we would run into each other, say about two words about how happy we were and then run in the opposite direction again.
I have discovered the new universal bond that is truly capable of bringing the world together as one: drinking games. Granted, we all spoke English, so this is a terrible example, BUT not only did we all know the basic games, beer pong, flip cup etc., but we got to learn the Australian, Vietnamese, Icelandic, Canadian, Irish versions of all of these games. Talk about really diving into the culture, eh?
Day two on the island - time for our cruise! At precisely 10am, we embarked for one of the best days of our lives to date. If you had thrust me out into the bay on a raft, all alone, it still would have been one of the best days... but combined with OUR CREW? This cruise is almost indescribable...
I said ALMOST. I gotta describe some of it. It all started with a miscommunication. Our go-to beer on the island was literally called 333. When Zac ordered his first beer on the boat, he put up three fingers so that the bartender would know he wanted the 333; the bartender took this a step further and gave him three 333s. Not wanting to confuse things further, Zac paid for all three and made his way to the top deck. Unbeknownst to him (well we knew, but we didn't actually know, ya know?), there was a new rule: any beer that you held in your right hand, you had to drink from the beer bong. Zac had two in his right hand, and well... he's a rule follower!
People got points for beer bongs and the like, since I was the only American, I figured I'd ask if I could get some booster points, since I had no one to help me out. The guide's response?
We had some dance parties, some weird games (obviously), kayaking, random swims out to beaches that caught our eye, really good food and really good times. We NEVER wanted this day to end, but... the island awaited.
When we showed up to Castaways, we were now the mentors. We took the whole island of newbies under our wing and had yet another glorious night of mediocre food but fantastic dancing.
We were heartbroken as we left the island the next morning. It had truly become our home. Ok, not really, but when all you have is a couple hundred meters of sand, and people tell you it's your home, you start to believe it!
The vast majority of our crew was all staying together at Vietnam Backpacker Hostel in Hanoi (from here on out to be referred to as "VBH"). We could have never planned what was in store for us that night. The Asian football cup (or something like that - I truly never understood what tournament we were watching) was in full swing and Vietnam was playing. People told us that if Vietnam won the game, that the city would explode (not literally, but, ya know, giant celebrations in the streets and the like). Well, Vietnam won and I have never high fived, danced with, screamed at sooooo many people in one night in my life. Here's just a glimpse...
I also believe that this is the first GOOD photo of Zac, Nathalie, Sarah and me...
Late night Banh mi was also a must...
On this same evening, we somehow found time to plan our trip to Ninh Binh with, you guessed it, Zac and Nathalie. Never has it been easier to plan a trip. Sarah booked how we were getting there, while I booked where we were staying, while Zac booked the way back and Nathalie planned what we'd do while we were there (ok, guys, I know those are not the exact things we were all doing, but people at least get the picture).
The next morning, we were off to Ninh Binh! Just check out our 7am train music (also, a glimpse at how aggressive Sarah is at making friends 🤣)
Ninh Binh was just what we needed after the madness of the past few days. We booked a private room at a bamboo bungalow with this view...
The only issue, that we were to find out later, was that since the rooms were literally built out of bamboo, all noises were heard - from the rain to the VERY loud crew of Vietnamese tourists that were right next door (although I literally woke up thinking that they were in our room because they were that loud).
But first thing on our agenda was motor bikes! Cause when in Vietnam...
And don't worry, I did not drive, which is why I came back from this trip in one piece.
We then embarked on the journey that we had to come to Ninh Binh for: the boats. We hired a lady who spoke no English to give us a river boat tour and it was truly phenomenal. We thought we were just going to be chilling on the boat for three hours, but instead, we stopped off and explored islands and temples (and beer) along the way and I have neverrr felt more relaxed.
Thanks to this tour, we literally know everything about Zac and Nathalie, from how they first started dating... to their cats names and ages 🙄
After getting lost at pretty much every crossroads on our way back, we survived the bumpiest roads imaginable, grabbed some food, read by the water and had an early night. Truly a vacation from vacation... until Sarah and I did not sleep a wink because the Vietnamese tourists were up yelling alllll night. Ya win some, you lose some, eh?
The plan was to explore A LOT more the next day, but Sarah was on her deathbed and everyone was tired sooo we just stayed in bed and continued to vacation from vacation. We then booked a private "limo" back to Hanoi and it was five thousand times better than having to listen to atrocious train music.
Upon arrival in Hanoi, I quickly ran to the pharmacy and grabbed every drug known to man because not only was Sarah on her deathbed, but I was noooot doing to hot myself, and we had another week and a half of fun and no sleep that we had to power through, so thankfully I only paid like five dollars for all this👇
After grabbing Nathalie's laundry (oh ya, I forgot to mention that someone sh*t in her bed when we were on Castaways and she climbed into bed not knowing it... the full version of this story is only available in person for obvious reasons), we all headed to the Hanoi Airport! Destination: Hoi An.
