On the Atlantic and PTSD

I was torn about whether or not I should write this blog. Let me tell you why. The Azores are perfect. Untarnished. And I don't want you to ruin them. But. Against my better judgment... here we go again!

This trip started the way they always do... Scott and I scoured the map until we found cheap tickets to a cool place that we both wanted to go to. I personally had never heard of the Azores, but that's to be expected. Upon further inquest while I was there, half of Europe doesn't even know they exist. The Azores are 9 islands off the coast of Portugal; we escaped to the island of Sao Miguel. And by off the coast, I mean a two and a half hour flight from Lisbon. In reality, these nine islands are smack dab in the middle of the Atlantic Ocean.

We ended up having several friends join us this time around. They all got there a day before me, and the pictures that I received while at work summoned a sundry blend of envy and anticipation. After a 4 hour delay and a comparable amount of gin and tonics, my direct flight for the islands took off at 2am, and I unfurled across my three seats dreaming of... Aquaman (I mean, most likely, since that was the movie I was watching).

Five short hours later and it was suddenly 11am, and I was in Portugal, ready (because that was the only option) to dive headfirst into the day. The crew picked me up in a minivan type vehicle (except it was so so much smaller than a minivan, but it meant that we were super close together, so we could all get to know each other so much quicker).

First stop: Abandoned hotel with a view. Guidebook said "worth a quick stop in if you have time". UM WHAT? No. This place has it all: Horror. Intrigue. And an unmatched view (well, some views later on may have given it a run for its money). Sidenote: Any guide books I was able to find for the Azores were not good, so this blog honestly is probably your best bet. The only true contender would be the four day itinerary by The Geeky Explorer. Alright full disclosure, our entire four day trip is an exact replica of his four day itinerary. Huge fans right here.

Next stop: Miradouro da Boca do Inferno. Talk about breathtaking (also beware, I'm a bit concerned that I'm going to run out of synonyms REAL quick).

Now that we had seen this epic view of the three lakes, it was time to venture down to them, plus we were sure that we saw a town that was sure to have a pub with "a nice outdoor area for us to enjoy our beer" as Jake put it. After a stop and a dip at one the lakes (my takeaway from the dip is: cold, but refreshing), we did indeed find a pub with an outdoor area and after all of our sightseeing, it was great to be able to sit, drink and chat.

Next stop: Ferraria. I feel like I can never explain this spot quite right, but alas, I shall try again. So, we arrived, and we could see the way down. I don't know about you, but whenever I see a winding, steep trail down, all I can do is think about the way back up. I mustered my resolve though, shut the antagonism out of my mind and soldiered on.

We grabbed some beer at the only building that you can see in the photo above and headed to our destination. Let me tell you about Ferraria. It's confusing. I jumped in the water and was immediately taken aback. This was supposed to be lava rocks with warm water. Instead the water immediately reminded me of glacier water that I had encountered near, well... a glacier. Everyone else was already in the water and insisted that it would be warmer as soon as I swam over to the lava rocks. It kind of was, but it would be 5 seconds out of every minute that were actually a little warm. So, actually no, it was not warmer.

Next stop was dinner near the water so that when it came near sunset we could stroll down the coast. Food wasn't great, but look at this...

We then set off for our Airbnb. It was 10pm and it was my first chance of the entire day to take a shower and wash off the plane and lake water and ocean and god knows what else. Did I? Unfortunately for everyone, no. I dropped my bags off, and on we trekked to the water (five minute walk from our place) for some drinks and chats. Hours later, we trudged home, discovering bridges and these actually really cool vending machines that deposit warm, no actually HOT food for weary late night travelers. Day one: complete.

The next morning we were off to the Furnas hot springs. Let me tell you, these were cool enough I guess, but they made me feel so sick. Imagine being on four hours of sleep (six hours total in the last 48 hours), and the temperature rising 15 degrees the second you get out of the car (and yes, you had been drinking pretty consistently the day before). Next you are hit with wafts of sulfur. Not fun. What was cool was that they cooked all of this "Furnas" stew in these horrifying springs - yay.

Also, this is how I felt (I was not the only one, just saying)...

Strolling along the water brought us all back to life, especially the views of Ermida Nossa Senhora das Vitorias (aka this really cool church).

After tasting the delicious Furnas stew for lunch, the rest of the day consisted of all of the best views of Nordeste. We had to force ourselves to leave each spot, because we could have stayed at each lookout for hours... especially because some people kept finding cats and picking them up 🙄.

Also, did I mention the flowers?

Next on the itinerary was this lighthouse. Would not recommend. Look, I'm sure the lighthouse is cool, but we never got to it. We took this very long winding stroll down towards the lighthouse, and again, all I could think about was the walk up. This time there was no beer to comfort me on the journey up. The highlight of this expedition was when Scott carved our names into the new asphalt that had been poured down. See below my one glimpse of the lighthouse. 

We then immediately turned around and my nightmare ensued. Cars zoomed down the path straight at us, forcing us to cling to the wall, I was screaming, Scott FELL; essentially everyone seemed to be ok except... me and Scott, as you can see...

To ease our minds after this horrid experience, gelato...

Next stop? Our sunset cruise on the catamaran. Were we excited for this? Just a bit. After giving ourselves what we thought was plenty of time to get to the boat, we completely ran out of time, were lost, running this way and that, in and out of stores, trying to find whatever company Scott had booked. Want to know how we ended up at the right place? They ran after us. Nothing like six gringos sweating, looking lost and confused, running this way and that. I'll have to remember that for the next time I'm lost in a foreign country.

After a small mishap regarding payment which involved Scott running along the water (again) for the ATM, we at last boarded the boat and set sail for what proved to be simultaneously one of the best and worst nights of my life. Thankfully, the worst part came first. Long story short, this crew ended up being the most uptight boat crew any of us had ever experienced. We had a five minute lecture (two at a time) on how to safely use their toilet. They made us wear lifelines and buckle ourselves in so that we were attached to the boat. When I asked when we would receive the unlimited wine that was promised, they said "only after you swim". My reply? "What if I don't want to swim?" The crew's response: "You drinking wine will tempt everyone else to start drinking before they swim."

We were the only passengers on the boat. None of us wanted to swim. But swim we did, only to appease the crew that was convinced that we were going to have the time of our lives. Kevin and Sam jumped in. They seemed fine; I followed. I WAS NOT FINE. I resurfaced mid panic at how cold the water was (the crew had waxed eloquent on how they were taking us to the warmest spot in the Atlantic). As I turned to immediately climb back on the boat, I realized that the crew had accelerated the boat backwards and were all laughing. On top of this, I would like to remind you that we were in the middle of the Atlantic, so not only was the water extremely choppy, but the undercurrents were intense. Somehow I reached the boat, but had no energy to even reach for it; Sam had to pull me in. 0/10. Would NOT recommend jumping in. 

But then the second half... After my least favorite crew member made a joke that was met by my fierce glare in return, they decided they better serve up the wine. The rest of the ride was truly a dream. They served up snacks and never let us finish a glass of wine, without making sure it was full again. I don't know if it's because the beginning was so horrific, but I think Scott and I at least agree that the last hour and a half watching the sunset and talking in depth (maybe extra deep since I had just had a near death experience?), may have been the highlight of the trip.

The snacks had not filled us up so we had a late night meal, drinks on the water and called it a day.

Day 3! Once again, four very short hours later it was time to wake up and get in line for the ferry that would take us to the Islet of Vila Franca do Campo. I was the last up, the last to be showered and ready AND the last person to the car. We got to the line for the ferry and after a thirty minute wait in line, as soon as we arrived at the ticket window, they had some news for us. The person before us was the 400th person, and they could only let 400 people on the islet each day. To say that it was obvious this was my fault is an understatement. SORRY GUYS.

We wandered down this random path, me avoiding everyone's gaze, and everyone else literally just wandering. We basically ran into this dude, and we asked him if he knew of any other boats that could take us to the islet. He offhandedly mentioned that he in fact worked for a company that took people out to not only see the islet, but it was a guided tour where we would snorkel, swim and see a bunch of other cool things. Without hearing the price, we obliged. And who was the tour guide? Well, the same bloke, of course.

We booked our boat and then sojourned on to the tea plantations. After walking through what was the weirdest museum of our lives (essentially it was a guided tour of how to make tea with no guide), we had some really good tea. Like seven cups of it. We then explored the plantation, Scott got lost and then we found him, and Kevin found another cat and named her Mary 😐

Our guide for the boat tour had told us that we could bring whatever we wanted to drink on the boat; Scott and I did not forget this. After an embarrassing amount of searching in this tiiiny town, we found a gas station that sold beer. They only sold single bottles, so Scott and I pulled out AT LEAST 24 beer bottles from this fridge before realizing that we did not have a bottle opener; the shop owner would not sell us his. With a crowd now gathered around us, we put back all 24 bottles, and bemusedly clambered back into the car empty handed. Crushed, but not defeated, we headed to the boat.

We showed back up with just a couple minutes to spare and sped off to the islet. To say that we saw more than we ever would have had we gone straight to the islet is a severe understatement. We saw sea creatures through the glass bottom boat (and scuba divers), studied the delicate rock formations that configured the islet and glimpsed (thankfully from afar) a colossal amount of terrifyingly large crabs.

Next was the snorkeling. I was so ready for this. It had been one of the huge allures of the boat trip. We put on our gear and everyone (except me and Scott) jumped headfirst into the water. After about ten minutes of pacing back and forth on the boat, dipping my foot into the water to test the temperature, I jumped into the water. Talk about PTSD. I was so cold that I couldn't even begin the process of actually snorkeling. I felt like I had done a good enough job of facing my fears, and immediately clambered back to the safety of the boat.

Scott and I then quite contentedly napped on the boat while everyone else splashed around in the horrible abyss the locals call "very warm water". To my extreme relief, everyone agreed that even though I had seemingly ruined the day, it was indeed salvaged by this amazing boat tour.

Next stop! Pineapple plantation. Pineapples are a big deal in the Azores. Apparently back in the day they were trying to figure out what they could export, so they shipped in some pineapple plants, built some greenhouses and voila. For a more in depth study of the pineapples of Portugal... just go there yourself. We explored, sipped some delightfully fresh pina coladas, chatted up some fellow Americans and then were on our way once more!

We opted for a fancy dinner of sorts for our final evening together. Everyone was extremely happy with their meals (except me and Scott who in fact couldn't finish our steak because it was not good). BUT everyone else was happy. The evening before, Scott and I had stumbled upon a lovely spot on the water with live music and a glowing bar, so we took the crew there for our final drinks together, and we couldn't have ended things any better.

By the time we finally got home, the crew had to leave in 45 minutes for their 7am flight, so I settled in for bed while they settled in for a very quick nap. I had one day left in Sao Miguel alone, and I didn't know what I was gonna do, but I knew it was gonna be good. I woke up a few short hours later, tired, but ready.

I checked my map, and I had just a 15 minute walk to my hostel. WIN. I had no idea what to expect; I was NOT disappointed. The only plan I had for the day was to ask the hostel receptionist what I should do. My guy came through!!

Hostel guy: Want to go to the beach?

Me: Yes.

Hostel guy: Like to bike?

Me: Yes.

Hostel guy: Take our bike to the beach. For free. I know just the one for you. It has a bar - sound good?

DONE.

He showed me my route, all along the water of course. So off I went, stopping for amazing views along the way, until I got to Populo, and settled in.

Back to the hostel a few hours, coffees and wines later to check-in. I was showed to my room by a lovely woman, who opened the door saying, "Here's your be...". There was a couple canoodling in my bed. Alll up in my bed. They then claimed that they thought they had the room to themselves. The hostel room... with multiple bunk beds in it. I stared awkwardly on, as the the poor employee kept giving me helpless sideways glances. They went on to say that they needed the bottom bunk (my bed) because they had to keep getting up to throw up in the bathroom. My hero (the lovely woman) demanded they get up, had the sheets changed (thank god), and we were back in business.

Once again, I threw my bags down and zoomed up to the roof. Now just look at this insane roof that I then had all to myself. How? I have no idea.

I woke up (when did I fall asleep?) and there was someone else in the pool. She took one look at my beer, and said, "Do you want another?" I, of course, acquiesced. Thus began a beautiful friendship that involved us sitting next to each other silently, drinking our beer and reading our books.

Next item on the agenda (more of a multiple choice than agenda) was exploring the town. And surprise, surprise, Ponta Delgada did not disappoint...

I stopped for an appetizer (dinner at the hostel planned for later). There was a man next to me with a bowl of bread, just breaking it apart and throwing it. This is not a significant point of the blog BUT I have a note in my phone that says "there is a man throwing bread in front of me - could hit a human OR ME." The fact that I was so concerned for my personal safety because of this bread made me feel obliged to display my intense feelings while I was enjoying this view...

When I had signed up for the BBQ at the hostel, I didn't know what to expect, but if it meant hanging out on that roof... I was in. Just look at what $15 got me...

Was the steak cold and bleeding through and through? Yes. (What is with the strangely terrible steak prep skills on this island?) BUT atmosphere 10/10. Oh and did I mention the unlimited sangria that was also included?

The BBQ was comprised of about 15 solo travellers, and we truly had the best time bonding over our Azores experiences. We ran out of sangria, so we turned to the very cheap and convenient hostel menu...

We got kicked off the roof, and we didn't want to leave each other, so out we went! While at the pineapple plantation I had talked to these Americans who said that they came across "this really cool area with 'people your age' hanging around with beers on the streets and stuff." Well, as luck would have it, that was our destination. And it lived up to their strangely enticing description. Here we are...

After an incredible night, I booked a cab for the next morning and settled in for yet another 4-5 hours of sleep before the events of the following day took over. Because this hostel is amazing, they had a prepped breakfast for me in the fridge since they knew I was leaving early, and off I went.

I leave you with this toothbrush. I don't know why I have this picture. The word "toothbrush" was also found in my phone notes. Since it was clearly important to me at one time that I share it with you, I felt compelled.

THE END. 

The Three Amigos Take Santo Domingo

It all began with a simple text from Brandon... "Hey can we go on a trip?"

The next day I had a spreadsheet ready with flight options. I do not take trip requests lightly. A few texts back and forth and a little bullying on the part of Brandon and I to convince Daniel that he could indeed take off work (even though he was going to the Bahamas the week after we would get back), and we were good to go! 

Why did we choose Santo Domingo? SUN. BEACH. CHEAP. Oh, and OF COURSE because of the educational value of visiting the first settlement in the New World... Let's just say I had a twenty stop historical tour of the town planned; we made it to the first one and then ended the tour for a drink. Not mad about it.

Day of the trip: Brandon and I were planning on training to the airport together, but then the plan completely went to shit when Brandon wanted to be there 3 hours early, and I was insisting on 90 minutes. We all just met at the airport. 

And then... Our first flight together :)

I'm not a sentimental person (surprise, surprise), but honestly it was pretty damn exciting to board the plane with these two. They are the funniest two people I know, and all I did for three days was laugh uncontrollably at my free entertainment.

Upon arrival in Santo Domingo, we were greeted by so much WARMTH. We found out very quickly though, that the address for our Air BNB was incorrect. It took us about 3 blocks too far, and while Brandon (the only one with service), worked out where to go, Daniel and I just laughed and walked in circles. Sorry, Brandon.

We then went to this amazing restaurant, Meson De Bari (may have been our favorite meal!), and realized very quickly that if you order a rum and coke, they just bring you rum. Either we were ordering wrong, or they just were disgusted by the fact that we would mix something with their delectable rum. Regardless, we had a lot of rum straight, and we loved it. The rum to get is Barcelo. You will not be disappointed. 

We also ate food at this restaurant, goat for me and I couldn't tell you what for the boys, but we left happy. Next, was experiencing Santo Domingo's nightlife - again, a success. First place, we shared this huge bucket of I have no idea what...

Then bar hopped to a couple of places with cool roofs, fun people and great dancing (well, not by me... Brandon made us leave one place because he was so embarrassed by my dancing).

Next morning! Had OK food at an amazing courtyard spot (the ambiance made up for the only OK food), and then wandered around the town.

Bought some cigars, had some delightful coffee and then Brandon had a delightful revelation as we shopped. "Guys, I've realized that my ankle doesn't hurt nearly as much if I'm drinking." Naturally we found a beautiful spot to have a drink or two. Back story: Brandon had surgery on his ankle about two months before, and while he had mostly recovered... there was definitely still a limp. 'Twas cute though.

Off to Los Tres Ojos (a must do in Santo Domingo). Basically you walk down into these caves and the tres ojos (three eyes) are these beautiful lakes within the caves. You could then take a boat out to the fourth lake - which was the least cool, but the boat ride made it worth it.

That evening, we trekked through the rain to dinner (after spending about 30 minutes talking about the best course of action).

Our options were: 

- Walk with umbrellas, but then be stuck with the umbrellas for the rest of night, bringing on the potential of having to walk the umbrellas home before going out to bars

- Walk without umbrellas because umbrellas are stupid (that was clearly my suggestion)

- Uber and bring the umbrellas

- Uber and don't bring the umbrellas

Obviously we went with the first one and had the weirdest walk through the rain. Brandon and I continuously got stuck between walls and trees? Don't entirely know how we managed this. Dinner was at Jalao - drinks all around, followed by great food, would definitely recommend. Here are pictures of each of us individually at this restaurant. Beauties, I know.

 

I then took us to what I thought was a speakeasy... It was not. Buuut we still had some good drinks, and then we went to what ended up being my favorite bar (of course, I can't remember the name). It had this awesome courtyard where we met a bunch of super cool people... Enter Joseph from DC! He ended up hanging out with us and our other new friends, and then we stole him, and brought him with us to the next bar because he was our favorite. 

At about 3am, we were meandering home, Daniel leading the way with Brandon and I giggling and straggling behind, when Brandon and I were surrounded by three guys. They demanded to see our IDs. Brandon and I obediently went for our wallets as Daniel strode up and said, "No, we need to see YOUR IDs." They showed IDs that said "policia," Brandon and I again went for our wallets, thinking "ohhh its just the cops!" Daniel said "Walk away, NOW." Now if you've met Daniel, you know that when he says to do something, YOU DO IT. Thankfully we were only a block from our apartment, so we scurried home, locking the doors the second that we were all inside.

I immediately went to sleep without a care in the world, while Brandon and Daniel stayed up to make sure we didn't get robbed by the police. 

As it turns out, the police in the DR are known to be quite corrupt. They apparently make a habit of stealing tourists IDs and only giving them back if you bribe them. So thank God for Daniel.

Next morning I woke up well rested (Brandon and Daniel not so much), and after a delish courtyard breakfast, we were off to Boca Chica Beach! Enter pina coladas, cigars and naps. 

I was just about to say that it was an absolute perfect day, but then I remembered that we were harassed pretty much the whole time (the things we block out). We were offered everything from massages to floaties, and they did not care if your eyes were closed - they would get right in your face regardless. So besides being tormented all day long, everything was PERFECT.

After a mediocre dinner with a great view, we headed back to the apartment for some beer, debriefing and mental preparation for another night out in DR. Honestly these moments were some of my favorites - just sitting around our apartment that was entirely too large for us and talking. If you have ever hung out with the three of us, one thing you will know to be true is that we never run out of things to talk about, because if we do, Brandon will say that we should play a game, and Daniel and I do NOT want to get to that point. 

Now you may be wondering, where on earth is Joseph if he was your favorite?! Well, here was the issue... He had Brandon's number, but we did not have his number, and he did not know that he had Brandon's number. Thankfully we found him on social media, and we were able to reconnect; we then met up with him at his awesome hotel for some rum, naturally. Then dancing and the club, which was completely empty when we first arrived because (oops) it was a Sunday night. But this didn't faze us; here is Joseph and me in the VIP area that we claimed because, um, no one else was there:

'Twas another great night on the town, and we made it back to the apartment without incident, which was, of course, a win.

Last day! Woke up to my best friend saying she was engaged. Tried to call. She declined... 

After some water, coffee and all of the good things in another cute courtyard, we headed back to Joseph's amazing hotel to swim with a view.

Ok, you're right, I didn't actually swim, but the water felt great, and the view was even better. Then brunch, wandering around the town, grabbing some coffee and THAT WAS IT. It was that time. We grabbed the obligatory packing beer and procrastinated for a hot sec and then packed up our past three days of fun.

Off to the airport! And I just want to leave you with one last thought I have about Brandon Leffew... How can someone SO PRETTY, distort their face into that of a gremlin?! His talents truly amaze me. Thank you, and goodnight.