It all started with me procrastinating. We had all kinds of issues on our flight from Philly to Charlotte, I wasn't too worried because after about twenty minutes, I had already accepted the fact that we were gonna miss our flight (we had a 40 minute layover). So I settled in, at this point just hoping that we would be in the plane long enough for me to finish Avengers.
So, here's where the procrastination comes in. When we landed, the pilot rattled off a number to call to be able to set up a new connection. I, of course, was too engrossed in the ending of the movie to catch the number, and not worried - as always - waited until it was over to text Julia and ask her what it was. (She had already booked her next flight.) I call, and the lady goes on to tell me that all they have left is first class, and boom looks like that's what I'll have to take.
Julia looked at me in dismay when I revealed the news, mainly because she was being punished for being proactive. She immediately demanded my mini bottles, which I dutifully handed over - it was the least I could do.
They called for first class boarding, and I gave her one last, "Um, so, how I am supposed to act?" She responded with a not-too-helpful shrug. So, 11 businessmen (between the ages of 45 and 60) and a grinning 21 year-old boarded the plane ahead of everyone else. I think I fit in well enough though, I ordered a glass of wine - just like many of them had. We were sipping on our drinks before the economy people even boarded!!
Then, I saw my sister walk onto the plane. This is the distinct moment that I gave myself away as a newbie. "Julia! Take my picture??!!!"
Now, I didn't realize that since we were given wine before the plane took off that we would have to finish the wine BEFORE take-off. I had about a third of my wine left when the flight attendant asked for my wine glass, I looked at her in horror and then gulped the last bit down, because you know me - I hate to be wasteful.
Once we got into the air, the man next to me started up a conversation with, "Do you play sports?" This is not entirely uncommon, I mean I don't look like I sit on my ass all day. I told him I had played soccer in high school, and he responded with something that I had definitely never heard before. "Oh, really? I thought you were in crew. I've been looking at you and your shoulders are definitely rowing shoulders, but then I saw your hands and realized that you didn't have callouses, so I started second guessing myself. Also, you are the spitting image of my daughter, and SHE does crew, so I figured that you must too, that and your very broad shoulders."
I definitely stared at him for a couple of seconds before responding. Throughout our initial five-minute conversation, I think he mentioned four times that my shoulders looked like I was a rower - thank you, stranger, for pointing out that I have man shoulders.
Granted, not only did I think it was hilarious, but the flight attendant had just given me more wine, so I just got back to my magazine. I could relay every conversation with this man, but I don't think anyone cares QUITE that much about that, so I will get to the landing...
Once we were about to disembark, he looked at me in dismay. "Not only was the wine shitty, but now I have to get my own suit. What is this?!" I laughed along as if I had also thought that these things were absolutely sooo ridiculous. According to him, these two things made the ride disastrous. But if you ask me? It was PERFECTION.
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